exams are round the corner. i think i am dying soon. i have not finish studying a single module. i guess this time i am dead. anyway, while lying on my bed just now, i thought of what kinda person i am. (of cos something happened thats why i did it.. )
reflecting on myself, i dont think i played my role well. be it as a daughter to my parents, a friend to my friends, a captain to the canoe team and even a girlfriend to jason. i failed completely in every single role.
as a daughter : i dont really like talking to my parents especially my dad. he seems to complain and make comments over everything on earth. this is what irritates me the most. he nags and shows attitude like he is king of the universe. to him, everything i do seems wrong. so frankly speaking, the respect level is like ..... ??
as a friend : on the surface, i seems to mix well with many people. be it my classmates, outside friends and even my teammates. but deep down, i aint close with many. we're neither here nor there. few weeks back, a friend told me that i am those who will only look them up when i have no boyfriend with me. how true is this?? well, u aint the first person who made such comment. i remember back in secondary days, 2 of my closest friends told me the same thing.
as a captain : i dont like the idea of asking people if they are going for training or even forcing them for training. i looked at the situation of the girls team and i did nothing to revive it. its so separated. everyone drifted. we're not bonded closely as a team should be. theres still unlikings here and there yet i cant do anything bout it either. many say that sp girls gonna lose the title for sure. and i agreed. i didnt fight back for the girls cos i believe deep in their heart, they feel so too. winning is easy to say but hard to achieve. i want to win badly too but i just cant.
as a girlfriend : i guess this is the role i played worse. seems like i am nothing but disappointment. time after time of forgiving, i still disappointed him. it always have to end up in the situation of forcing himself to swallow the big news and forgive. he always say he doesnt have a choice. he has, but i am glad he didnt choose it. i really dont know how to build the trust again. 5 alphabets .... yet so difficult to manage. i too wanna find someone whom i can invest all my trust in and live with forever. i found him. but to him, he felt his investment gave him no returns. instead, disappointment. i cant disagree.
i am glad that till this point they are still holding on to me. friends family teammates and jason.
sorry.
reflecting on myself, i dont think i played my role well. be it as a daughter to my parents, a friend to my friends, a captain to the canoe team and even a girlfriend to jason. i failed completely in every single role.
as a daughter : i dont really like talking to my parents especially my dad. he seems to complain and make comments over everything on earth. this is what irritates me the most. he nags and shows attitude like he is king of the universe. to him, everything i do seems wrong. so frankly speaking, the respect level is like ..... ??
as a friend : on the surface, i seems to mix well with many people. be it my classmates, outside friends and even my teammates. but deep down, i aint close with many. we're neither here nor there. few weeks back, a friend told me that i am those who will only look them up when i have no boyfriend with me. how true is this?? well, u aint the first person who made such comment. i remember back in secondary days, 2 of my closest friends told me the same thing.
as a captain : i dont like the idea of asking people if they are going for training or even forcing them for training. i looked at the situation of the girls team and i did nothing to revive it. its so separated. everyone drifted. we're not bonded closely as a team should be. theres still unlikings here and there yet i cant do anything bout it either. many say that sp girls gonna lose the title for sure. and i agreed. i didnt fight back for the girls cos i believe deep in their heart, they feel so too. winning is easy to say but hard to achieve. i want to win badly too but i just cant.
as a girlfriend : i guess this is the role i played worse. seems like i am nothing but disappointment. time after time of forgiving, i still disappointed him. it always have to end up in the situation of forcing himself to swallow the big news and forgive. he always say he doesnt have a choice. he has, but i am glad he didnt choose it. i really dont know how to build the trust again. 5 alphabets .... yet so difficult to manage. i too wanna find someone whom i can invest all my trust in and live with forever. i found him. but to him, he felt his investment gave him no returns. instead, disappointment. i cant disagree.
i am glad that till this point they are still holding on to me. friends family teammates and jason.
sorry.
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