this gonna be a long honest post. I hate being so emo here because this is what some people laugh at. but for once, i am opening up here.
As many are aware, I left my canoe polo team. Sometimes i question myself, did I have a team in the first place? Anyway, leaving is easy said than done. I thought for weeks i swear. It isn't an impulse decision at all. Even till now, I still do think of canoe polo, the current girls team, my old team, the trainings, the glorious periods, the medals, the joy, the laughter, the many jokes and most importantly the bond which we always try hard to build upon. It isn't an easy task. I always look back to the photographs we took be it during national championships, srrr, dinner or at kallang. I miss all of it. The efforts we all put in in trying to bond as a team, the subway, nyny, lunches which never came true, I believe everyone tried.
The last training I went back, Tiffany asked my reason for leaving. To be honest, I left because I don't know what are we. Are we still a team or are we all individual parties? To me, canoepolo is no longer about winning medals and playing for victory. Is there a team to rely on, are there team mates who will go through thicks and thins together, are we all honest with our feelings, is there really no grudges among each other? Female aint no simple creatures. I promised to give myself another week to think about it, and I really did.
Matter of facts came into the picture. Graduation and working. I may have disappointed a few with my non attendance last saturday. To be honest, the final decision is still ambiguous in my mind.
I spoke to yuxiang this morning on our train journey. The same old stuffs came in. "try for nat. selection" , "come back and play". Theres sudden urge of wanting to get down to the pool this saturday, sit in the vampire, hold the brasca paddle, feel the mikasa polo ball and play the canoe polo. I don't know how.
Holding the captain position has not been easy. I was never proud to be in this position like many would have. I only wanted to play and enjoy the simple game. I miss, i really really miss the many things, events and the people. Do we still have a chance to play as a team again?
ok enough of canoepolo. nows some quite embarrassing (cos i m like seeing her everyday).
during the holidays, i had a rather huge quarrel with one of my close friend. it was so serious that i thought i never wanted to talk to her again (i'm serious). but i am really glad that we're ok now. though i have to admit that we didn't talk things out and settle whichever issues that we're supposed to, but all this doesnt really matter now. i dont wanna look back to the past nor think back the conflicts. i believe everyone is happier now. i still treat her as a good friend and i believe i always will. sometimes we just have to look at things in a more simple way. never to keep unhappiness ever again. i look forward to our happy graduation, our often meet-ups despite the different route we will be taking, most importantly, maintaining this friendship. :)
its a happy 19months to jason and i. against all odds, i'll hold you to this.
lastly, i'm really glad to have met these people in singapore polytechnic.
jason tay (of course), liping, doron, khairul, huijun, and the 8 of them.... tabitha, grace, janneth, clara, tiffany, alexis, short and kailing.
till the day we meet, hopefully we still do say hi.
-erc
As many are aware, I left my canoe polo team. Sometimes i question myself, did I have a team in the first place? Anyway, leaving is easy said than done. I thought for weeks i swear. It isn't an impulse decision at all. Even till now, I still do think of canoe polo, the current girls team, my old team, the trainings, the glorious periods, the medals, the joy, the laughter, the many jokes and most importantly the bond which we always try hard to build upon. It isn't an easy task. I always look back to the photographs we took be it during national championships, srrr, dinner or at kallang. I miss all of it. The efforts we all put in in trying to bond as a team, the subway, nyny, lunches which never came true, I believe everyone tried.
The last training I went back, Tiffany asked my reason for leaving. To be honest, I left because I don't know what are we. Are we still a team or are we all individual parties? To me, canoepolo is no longer about winning medals and playing for victory. Is there a team to rely on, are there team mates who will go through thicks and thins together, are we all honest with our feelings, is there really no grudges among each other? Female aint no simple creatures. I promised to give myself another week to think about it, and I really did.
Matter of facts came into the picture. Graduation and working. I may have disappointed a few with my non attendance last saturday. To be honest, the final decision is still ambiguous in my mind.
I spoke to yuxiang this morning on our train journey. The same old stuffs came in. "try for nat. selection" , "come back and play". Theres sudden urge of wanting to get down to the pool this saturday, sit in the vampire, hold the brasca paddle, feel the mikasa polo ball and play the canoe polo. I don't know how.
Holding the captain position has not been easy. I was never proud to be in this position like many would have. I only wanted to play and enjoy the simple game. I miss, i really really miss the many things, events and the people. Do we still have a chance to play as a team again?
ok enough of canoepolo. nows some quite embarrassing (cos i m like seeing her everyday).
during the holidays, i had a rather huge quarrel with one of my close friend. it was so serious that i thought i never wanted to talk to her again (i'm serious). but i am really glad that we're ok now. though i have to admit that we didn't talk things out and settle whichever issues that we're supposed to, but all this doesnt really matter now. i dont wanna look back to the past nor think back the conflicts. i believe everyone is happier now. i still treat her as a good friend and i believe i always will. sometimes we just have to look at things in a more simple way. never to keep unhappiness ever again. i look forward to our happy graduation, our often meet-ups despite the different route we will be taking, most importantly, maintaining this friendship. :)
its a happy 19months to jason and i. against all odds, i'll hold you to this.
lastly, i'm really glad to have met these people in singapore polytechnic.
jason tay (of course), liping, doron, khairul, huijun, and the 8 of them.... tabitha, grace, janneth, clara, tiffany, alexis, short and kailing.
till the day we meet, hopefully we still do say hi.
-erc
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