i honestly didnt mind being inSP2 if everything was FAIR. and i really mean FAIR. i may not be the most outstanding player in my batch of girls. however, i definitly feel that there are better player than whoever who is in SP1. this entry has no offence to anyone. seriously.. i am just speaking my mind. u can jolly well come speak to me right in my face and tell me i aint a good player. its ok. i believe everyone has eyes to see the truth.
today, i played the worst friendly. initially i was so glad as clara and janneth joined sp2 to play. (grace came slightly later therefore wasnt in time to take a boat to play with us. nus gave us ony 7 boats) score line was 2-1 i think. yea we won. u know, playing in a game is not about winning or losing. its the process and whether u did ur part well as a team member. even if we lost, i'll still be glad as i believe a team will never start winning if they do not go through any failure. the second game was the horrible one. i didnt have jan and clara with me anymore. somehow, the support wasnt as strong. i know i have to chase back all fast brakes and i know i have do my best to support my team. i've tried the best i could to chase back all the fast brakes fortunately i succeeded. but who knows that deep in me, i am hyperly exhausted. i committed a grave mistake. frustrated, i threw the freaking paddle on the nus girl from behind when she wanted to shoot. it hit her neck. game ended. got scolded by the referee. ya i know its my fault. i apologised of cos. i apologised to that girl as well. somehow, everything seemed to be my fault. tried calming myself down but it affected my whole day. skipped several games and didnt bother to do any debrief. up to a stage when i can no longer take it, i cried infront of clara and janneth. you know i reached a point where i feel i no longer know how to continue playing. c'mon la.. the first time i played with sp2 was on friday. saturday was another one. and sunday is the friendly. dont u think u gave me too little time, jackson. everything is fucking easy to you. like what grace told me, since u're talking to the weaker team now, then dont expect too much dude. SP wants to win for SRRR? c'mon la.... why is winning so important? is winning everything? and because of wanting to win you demoralise people? u make me feel like i am playing for nothing dude. i am still running on because i wanna help the junior girls. if not for them, trust me, i'll withdraw.
jason told me that i must stand strong. help my team. i cannot fall. i musnt think of winning. obviously, there is no hope for winning. why not play a good game. keep scoreline close. chase back all the bad passes and fast brakes. play with time. as long as u feel u did the right thing, played a good game for yourself and for your team, winning isnt important anymore. be proud of yourself when the process is good. (thanks, i trust you.. :) sometimes i feel your mentality right. finally u talk sense yea? )
thanks to all who encouraged me. who still look up to me. and who never give up on me.
on a happier note, holiday is here.
trust me, nothing is fair in this world. sometimes no matter how hard u try to prove it to people, nothing will come true. i tried, i trained and also, i failed.
all the best, SP2.
today, i played the worst friendly. initially i was so glad as clara and janneth joined sp2 to play. (grace came slightly later therefore wasnt in time to take a boat to play with us. nus gave us ony 7 boats) score line was 2-1 i think. yea we won. u know, playing in a game is not about winning or losing. its the process and whether u did ur part well as a team member. even if we lost, i'll still be glad as i believe a team will never start winning if they do not go through any failure. the second game was the horrible one. i didnt have jan and clara with me anymore. somehow, the support wasnt as strong. i know i have to chase back all fast brakes and i know i have do my best to support my team. i've tried the best i could to chase back all the fast brakes fortunately i succeeded. but who knows that deep in me, i am hyperly exhausted. i committed a grave mistake. frustrated, i threw the freaking paddle on the nus girl from behind when she wanted to shoot. it hit her neck. game ended. got scolded by the referee. ya i know its my fault. i apologised of cos. i apologised to that girl as well. somehow, everything seemed to be my fault. tried calming myself down but it affected my whole day. skipped several games and didnt bother to do any debrief. up to a stage when i can no longer take it, i cried infront of clara and janneth. you know i reached a point where i feel i no longer know how to continue playing. c'mon la.. the first time i played with sp2 was on friday. saturday was another one. and sunday is the friendly. dont u think u gave me too little time, jackson. everything is fucking easy to you. like what grace told me, since u're talking to the weaker team now, then dont expect too much dude. SP wants to win for SRRR? c'mon la.... why is winning so important? is winning everything? and because of wanting to win you demoralise people? u make me feel like i am playing for nothing dude. i am still running on because i wanna help the junior girls. if not for them, trust me, i'll withdraw.
jason told me that i must stand strong. help my team. i cannot fall. i musnt think of winning. obviously, there is no hope for winning. why not play a good game. keep scoreline close. chase back all the bad passes and fast brakes. play with time. as long as u feel u did the right thing, played a good game for yourself and for your team, winning isnt important anymore. be proud of yourself when the process is good. (thanks, i trust you.. :) sometimes i feel your mentality right. finally u talk sense yea? )
thanks to all who encouraged me. who still look up to me. and who never give up on me.
on a happier note, holiday is here.
trust me, nothing is fair in this world. sometimes no matter how hard u try to prove it to people, nothing will come true. i tried, i trained and also, i failed.
all the best, SP2.
